Have you ever stopped to think about the beliefs you carry?
I don’t mean big philosophical ones.
I’m talking about the ones running quietly in the background—the ones shaping your decisions without you even noticing.
Here’s the thing: we all hold onto ideas we absorbed as kids. That’s normal.
When we’re young, we’re like sponges, soaking up everything from our environment.
But here’s the kicker: a lot of those beliefs are outdated.
They don’t make sense in the context of who we’ve become as adults.
They’re like those old apps you downloaded in 2010 that haven’t been updated since—they don’t work with your current operating system anymore.
Let’s get specific. Maybe you were taught as a kid that “being quiet is good,” and now, as an adult, you struggle to speak up in meetings or assert yourself in relationships.
Or maybe you learned that success equals working hard all the time, and now you feel guilty if you take a break.
These ideas can feel so natural, so ingrained, that you never even question them. They’re just there, steering your life like an invisible autopilot.
The problem is, when we don’t challenge these beliefs, they can cause real trouble. They create stress, hold us back, and make us act in ways that don’t align with who we are today.
And what’s worse, they rarely hold up under scrutiny.
I want to introduce you to something simple yet transformative: The Seven 'Why' Questions.
This isn’t some woo-woo, overly complicated therapy exercise.
It’s just a way of getting curious about your own thoughts, peeling back the layers until you reach the root cause.
Here’s how it works: you take a statement—something you believe or feel—and ask yourself why.
Then, you ask why again. And again. You keep going, like a toddler determined to figure out the world, until you hit the core.
That core is often a belief you’ve been carrying for years, and once you shine a light on it, it might not make as much sense as it once did.
This technique didn’t even start as a tool for self-reflection. It was originally designed for businesses to improve their strategies, but it turns out, it’s just as effective for understanding ourselves.
Let’s imagine you’re overwhelmed at work, drowning in responsibilities, and you tell yourself, “I can’t ask for help.” That’s your starting point.
Why can’t you ask for help? “Because if I do, people will think I’m not capable.”
Why does that matter? “Because if they think I’m not capable, they won’t trust me to do important things.”
Why is that a problem? “Because if I’m not trusted, I might lose opportunities.”
Why is that so scary? “Because without opportunities, I’ll fail at my career.”
And why is failure so terrifying? “Because if I fail, I’ll feel worthless.”
Ah, there it is. The real belief lurking behind all that stress is this: My worth is tied to my success.
That’s a heavy idea to carry, isn’t it? And yet, so many of us do.
By peeling back the layers, you’ve revealed the belief that’s driving your anxiety.
The great thing is, once you see it, you can start to challenge it.
Think about it: does your worth as a person really depend on how successful you are?
Logically, no. If your best friend failed at something, would you consider them worthless? Of course not. So why would you apply that standard to yourself?
This is where the Seven Why Questions become so powerful.
They don’t just help you understand why you’re feeling stuck—they help you see the stories you’ve been telling yourself and decide if you want to rewrite them.
I once worked with someone who took a job they knew was a bad fit. Two days later, they quit.
On the surface, the decision seemed impulsive and irrational, but when we used the Seven 'Why' Questions to dig deeper, we discovered something fascinating...
At the heart of their decision was a deeply ingrained fear of non-existence—a belief formed in childhood that if they weren’t constantly proving themselves, they’d be invisible, unimportant, erased.
Taking the job was a way to feel seen and validated. Quitting it was an emotional reaction to the realization that this validation came at too high a cost.
Once they uncovered this belief, they could finally start to work on it.
They learned to challenge the idea that their existence needed to be “proven” at all. But beliefs like these don’t just disappear on their own.
Left unchecked, they can quietly dictate your actions for years, creating stress, self-doubt, and frustration.
But when you take the time to question them, to examine where they came from and whether they still serve you, you take back control.
This isn’t about blaming your younger self or the people who taught you these beliefs. It’s about recognizing that we all grow, we all change, and it’s okay—necessary, even—to let go of ideas that no longer fit.
The next time you find yourself in a stressful situation or making a decision that doesn’t feel quite right, pause. Take a deep breath. Then, start asking yourself why.
Be curious, not judgmental.
It might feel a little uncomfortable at first. That’s okay. Growth always does. But the clarity and freedom you’ll gain are worth it.
At the end of the day, you deserve to live a life guided by the person you are now—not the stories you inherited long ago.
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