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Patterns of Emotional Abuse in Relationships

Writer's picture: Na-Tasha CarterNa-Tasha Carter

We tend to think of abusers as vindictive people, intending to hurt those around them.


So often, though, an abuser may not even notice the fact that they are being emotionally abusive.


Equally often, if not more, the abuser is actually aware of the pain they're inflicting and either don't care or revel in it.


Here are some of the patterns of emotional:

  • Criticism - "You can never do anything right."

  • Verbal Abuse - Derogatory language, name calling, yelling, & using an intimidating tone

  • Sudden rages - Often having erratic mood swings

  • Silent Treatment - Using silence and neglect to punish

  • Gaslighting - Denial of abuse & displacing blame

  • Isolation - Purposely creating distance in the relationship

For anyone who’s going through any type of emotional abuse and feel like they are stuck, remember, you’re the only one who can take control and break the cycle.


Being honest with yourself and accepting that what you are experiencing is abuse and that it is not okay, is the first step


Although you may brush off abusive behavior as merely as character flaws, pay attention to the subtle changes in your partner, especially as you get further and further from the honeymoon phase.


Recognize the patterns and try to monitor the abuser when they are gaining control with these harmful behaviors.


Once you recognize what’s really going on, you can seek help from family, friends, or even a professional counselor.


With the right support- you can stop the cycle of abuse!


Someone else's toxic behavior is NOT your fault.

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