Disappointment is defined as sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
Unsurprisingly, no one enjoys disappointment but it’s an unavoidable aspect of being human and engaging with an unpredictable world.
An inability to handle disappointment is the foundation for most cognitive distortions resulting in shame, indecisiveness and self-sabotaging behaviors that lead to more significant mental health challenges.
Below are a few strategies for positively adapting to disappointment:
Acceptance - Breaking News: A perfect world is non-existent.
Coming to terms with the fact that disappointment is not an if but when circumstance frees us from living in a cycle of anxiety and burnout.
The ability to accept shortcomings in ourselves and others increases the capacity for mental/emotional and circumstantial growth in the face of challenges.
Self-control v. circumstance control - It’s good to have standards that challenge and push you to new limits.
However, fixating on expectations/ideals limits you by putting disproportionate pressure on “perfect” outcomes.
When these outcomes fall short, sadness, frustration and a desire to change are normal.
If you find yourself spiraling into fits of rage, blaming or completely giving up - You might need to reflect on your standards more than the circumstances.
Empathize, explore, adjust: How often do we address our own or others shortcomings with loving curiosity?
Try not to ruminate on “what ifs” and “shoulds” and instead be present with what is happening, ask questions/self-reflect and develop avenues for fulfillment moving forward.
Gratitude: Gratitude reminds us that even when one thing goes wrong, there can be many other things going right (often without our conscious control).
It also improves mood, reduces stress, strengthens connections and empowers us to take positive action.
Gratitude doesn’t always minimize the sting of disappointment, but it does equip us to be more resilient in moving forward.
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